Navigating the romantic dating scene in Puerto Rico could be considered a near-impossible mission, but wouldn't it be much easier with a guide that shed some light on the awkward moments in the Puerto Rican dating scene?
Saraí Ayala thinks so, and that's why she launched the book Entre ser y no ser, somos un papelón: La realidad de los dates en Puerto Rico.
"My friends have always said they feel a little more safe and a little more prepared when they listen to me. And I said, look, you know what? It would be cool to compile advice with real stories that aren't, maybe, fairy tales," Ayala told Platea.
While many people would rather avoid living through something like that on a first date, Ayala aims to portray the experience of dating on the Island and also offer a tangible resource, in the form of a conversation around a topic that doesn't get enough attention.
"Sometimes what happens is that when people are about to enter the world of meeting more people, they only see the happy endings and think that if a happy ending didn't happen to them, they're doing something wrong, when the reality is that for every fairy tale, there are about 20 awkward disasters," says the Corozal native.
A look at the dating scene in Puerto Rico
Between being and not being, an awkward disaster is hard to avoid. For example, the first part of the book opens with dates from Tinder. One particular case is that of Lola, 22, who, by trying to go with the flow, ended up meeting her date's family on the second date.
We also come across the story of Marianela, 27, in the Artists category: she ended up the victim of a double booking, where the person who invited her had also invited a second person to a second showing.
In her approach to the subject, Ayala found that there is a marked difference between the way men and women handle romantic outings.
To bridge that gap, Ayala decided to make use of the lockdown during the covid-19 pandemic and invite the public to share their own awkward dating stories from inside and outside the archipelago.
She managed to collect 187 stories, put through a rigorous selection process, which today form an engaging but pointed dialogue, in accessible and inclusive language, with the reader.
"There was a lack of a conversation that encouraged people to see dates as something that could also be fun for them. Or to see it as a new opportunity for networking or simply to go out and do something new," she recalls, while also noting that the book opens the door to topics such as consent, sexual safety and personal safety.
The process, however, was full of obstacles. One story, for example, revealed a pattern of violence in one of the accounts, while the publisher that was going to release the book filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Even so, she kept in mind the intention behind a book of this kind and decided to publish it independently.
The reception that Entre ser y no ser, somos un papelón received after its official launch in late 2023 validated her idea of capturing what the dating scene in Puerto Rico looks like, of showing that no one is alone when it comes to awkward moments, and it even allowed her to build a career in copywriting at an advertising agency.
It also gave her the tools and motivation to begin sketching out a second part of the book.
"This is my essence, this is who I am. I feel like this is me flirting with the reading audience. This is my introduction, this is my first date in the world of literature," she concluded.
Entre ser y no ser, somos un papelón: La realidad de los dates en Puerto Rico is available on Amazon and at The Bookmark.
This content was translated with the assistance of Artificial Intelligence (AI).
